I got a wife. I got a child. I got a job. I got many hobbies.
I got a flat. I got a car. I got some money.
Think I have a good life?
I don't indulge in entertainment. I don't appreciate fine dining. I don't go clubbing. I don't meet up with friends regularly. I don't go shopping as a past-time. I don't indulge in TV. I don't play game consoles. I don't play shares. I don't watch soccer or any sports.
Think I have a fulfilled life?
While I could have asked for more, it could have been worse.
You could live life to the edge, or you live life like a square.
I think I have a positively-compromised life. (I must include "positively" because "compromised" is always associated with a negative connotation)
Whenever you think your life is not good enough, imagine it could be bad.
If you think your life now is bad, imagine it could be worse.
Like anything else, you have a choice.
The only challenge is, with each choice you make, there is a consequence.
And as you grow older, as you get more dependents (either living or non-living entities), each choice becomes harder.
But the choice is still out there.
At times, I wished I was still young and studying, so that I can enjoy life and have fun. But I forgot the "trauma" of education and all the adolescence-related emotional struggles (school bullies, BGR, parental pressures, etc.), as well as the financial woes of not able to own what I desired.
Having lived through all that, all I can say is: I'm glad those days are over. I'm sure 30 years later, when I enjoy my retirement days, I'd look back now on the things I do for money, and I would say: I'm glad those days are over.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
The Transfer of Energy
I left office today at 6.20pm, picked up wife and went for dinner. Reached home at 8.15pm after getting stuck in a massive jam along a 400 metre stretch at Ang Mo Kio Ave 6 between Ave 1 and Ave 3. And while we waited, the radio broadcasted the news mentioning that the inflation rate for this month is the highest growth ever, thanks to rising food costs. And the reason of rising costs is the lack of supply caused by increased demand from developing countries and reduced supply caused by weather anomalies.
There will come a time when all the money in the world cannot buy the very food that feeds us. Maybe we should think of how to protect the home that we call Earth. We spend thousands of dollars beautifying our house, air-condition the whole house, yet we do not care about the larger environment that houses our house. We care less about how the environment outside our nest is being ruined as long as we make ourselves comfortable in our own house. Every gallon of cool air we produce in our house results in another gallon of heat we generate outside. We can never eliminate energy: we merely transfer the energy from one place to another.
Energy can also be transferred from person to person - not heat, but emotions. While driving today, I experienced a few positive incidences where motorists gave way for me to cut into my lane without the usual beaming or horning. I felt pleasant after the experience, which resulted in me doing the same, giving way to motorists without horning or beaming. Consider this: the horning and beaming is to alert the motorists of the potential danger they are causing. But if you are aware of them cutting into your lane and you are able to slow down or stop in time for them to cut into your lane, why horn? But most motorists do that because they want to 'scold' them for cutting in. In doing that, you transfer the negative energy from one to another. The motorist who cuts into the lane will also feel the hostility and that negative energy will stay in him, waiting to be pounced to the next victim on the road.
Back at home, Mayenne is still as grouchy. Even when Uncle Cedric came over this evening to pass us some baby products he bought for us, Mayenne was crying for Mummy. Yes, she is officially Mama's girl. And I am 'free' from the responsibility of entertaining her, because I can no longer make her interested in me. But I still am the official rock-a-bye lullaby-er who puts her to sleep, only if she is too tired to differentiate Mummy from Daddy thus falls asleep in my arms.
There will come a time when all the money in the world cannot buy the very food that feeds us. Maybe we should think of how to protect the home that we call Earth. We spend thousands of dollars beautifying our house, air-condition the whole house, yet we do not care about the larger environment that houses our house. We care less about how the environment outside our nest is being ruined as long as we make ourselves comfortable in our own house. Every gallon of cool air we produce in our house results in another gallon of heat we generate outside. We can never eliminate energy: we merely transfer the energy from one place to another.
Energy can also be transferred from person to person - not heat, but emotions. While driving today, I experienced a few positive incidences where motorists gave way for me to cut into my lane without the usual beaming or horning. I felt pleasant after the experience, which resulted in me doing the same, giving way to motorists without horning or beaming. Consider this: the horning and beaming is to alert the motorists of the potential danger they are causing. But if you are aware of them cutting into your lane and you are able to slow down or stop in time for them to cut into your lane, why horn? But most motorists do that because they want to 'scold' them for cutting in. In doing that, you transfer the negative energy from one to another. The motorist who cuts into the lane will also feel the hostility and that negative energy will stay in him, waiting to be pounced to the next victim on the road.
Back at home, Mayenne is still as grouchy. Even when Uncle Cedric came over this evening to pass us some baby products he bought for us, Mayenne was crying for Mummy. Yes, she is officially Mama's girl. And I am 'free' from the responsibility of entertaining her, because I can no longer make her interested in me. But I still am the official rock-a-bye lullaby-er who puts her to sleep, only if she is too tired to differentiate Mummy from Daddy thus falls asleep in my arms.
Monday, January 21, 2008
The Photographer Becomes the Model
This is my first formal shot as a model since my pre-wedding sessions in 2000. Thanks to Ervine of StudioV for making this possible. He was trying out his newly-acquired lens, the Nikkor PC-Micro 85mm f/2.8D with tilt-shift capability. The "strange" blur effects you see on the photos are the result of the lens itself, no post-processing done.
It is an eye-opening experience being at the other end of the camera, in the shoes of a model.
It is an eye-opening experience being at the other end of the camera, in the shoes of a model.
Friday, January 18, 2008
Diminishing Bundle of Joy
As the day goes by, the amount of joy derived from the bundle lessens. Her behaviour and her routine would change every few weeks. Previously, I have been putting her to sleep in my arms with ease. But this week, she appears to yearn more for Mummy. In fact, she was wailing inconsolably when I tried to put her to bed. Having said that, she is beginning to sleep through the night once again.
She also smiles less, and it's taking more than a tickle to make her laugh. She takes great interest at things around her except giving eye contact to people in front of her. Her temper characteristics are starting to show. She can be quite demanding and she would push away toys that she doesn't like. In fact, she would want the toys to be out of her sight. When she still saw the toy at a distance, she would go at lengths to reach for it, and instead of playing with it, she would push them aside.
Perhaps this is because we spend so little time with her on weekdays. Let's hope this is a mere passing phase. Let's hope that Angie's mum recovers soon to babysit Mayenne.
She also smiles less, and it's taking more than a tickle to make her laugh. She takes great interest at things around her except giving eye contact to people in front of her. Her temper characteristics are starting to show. She can be quite demanding and she would push away toys that she doesn't like. In fact, she would want the toys to be out of her sight. When she still saw the toy at a distance, she would go at lengths to reach for it, and instead of playing with it, she would push them aside.
Perhaps this is because we spend so little time with her on weekdays. Let's hope this is a mere passing phase. Let's hope that Angie's mum recovers soon to babysit Mayenne.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
"My Girl" Thai Insurance TV Commercial Hits a Raw Nerve in Me
Some of you may not get emotional over this, but if you are a Dad yourself, and if your daughter is still in her infanthood or childhood or if you love her a lot despite being in the rebellious stage of adolescence, then this commercial will really really hit you.
I cried because the "promise to love" the Dad in the commercial has on his daughter is so intense, and the editing of the commercial makes you see the flashback moments from the birth through the daughter's growth over the years, and makes you see why the Dad is actually capable of forgiving his daughter.
I cried because of the thought that this unfortunate incident could happen to me somewhere down the road of time.
Commercials stylise reality. Yes, in real life the Dad might eventually forgive his daughter, albeit in a less-romantic way. In real life, the daughter might behave so innocent. In real life, you would not remember all the good times in such a beautiful manner. In real life, you have to face the society.
But the commercial touches on one fundamental element. The element of love. Visual arts can make you focus on the elements that they want to convey. So just put away all the "it-won't-have-such-happy-ending-in-real-life" argument and let your emotions take a ride.
I cried because the "promise to love" the Dad in the commercial has on his daughter is so intense, and the editing of the commercial makes you see the flashback moments from the birth through the daughter's growth over the years, and makes you see why the Dad is actually capable of forgiving his daughter.
I cried because of the thought that this unfortunate incident could happen to me somewhere down the road of time.
Commercials stylise reality. Yes, in real life the Dad might eventually forgive his daughter, albeit in a less-romantic way. In real life, the daughter might behave so innocent. In real life, you would not remember all the good times in such a beautiful manner. In real life, you have to face the society.
But the commercial touches on one fundamental element. The element of love. Visual arts can make you focus on the elements that they want to convey. So just put away all the "it-won't-have-such-happy-ending-in-real-life" argument and let your emotions take a ride.
Monday, January 7, 2008
No. 2
Rock On Piano is at #2 on the Sembawang Music Charts. Thank you all for your support. Get it while it lasts, because true in every sense, this album is on limited prints. Once the launch fad is over, you can never find them ever again - except at stores where they overstock, like THAT CD SHOP.
Seriously, I hope record labels establish the local digital music library quickly so ensure continual sales for out-of-print titles. Meanwhile, for those who yearn for my Piano Spa series, you can get digital downloads via the online ringtone download portals of all the mobile operators like SingTel, StarHub, or Samsung Fun Club.
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Lessons From A Veteran
Today I received some tips from my uncle who used to run a photo studio and who was a professional photographer himself. He shared his thoughts about some of the photos I took and commented that I should not use dark backdrops to shoot baby photos, like this one:
His important tip is that the background setting MUST complement the subjects.
He went on talking about the importance of finding the right location for pre-wedding shoots, and how one should have backup locations in the event of foul weather. One has to have a vocabulary of locations for different scenes, from high-noon hard-light to cloudy soft-light to evening twilight.
(I wonder is that the reason why all the wedding locations are similar?)
He did stress that one should find his own style that will make people want your services. As he said that, I immediately think of some of the popular wedding photographers of my age. He told me to seek references from bridal studios to learn from their styles.
After this talk, I began to understand why photography can be an academic subject.
I guess I must have missed out so many of these important theories and concepts during my self-exploration in photography. In comparison, my music education has definitely been more structured and yet I am only where I am now.
Suddenly, I felt so humbled.
There are 3 roads I can take.
One: I mope about how ignorant I am in the area of photography, and since I don't have the time and commitment to learn more, I should quit and not disgrace the photographic community.
Two: I put in time and effort to look for apprenticeship, master the skills, develop my techniques.
Three: I continue my journey at my own pace, shoot my own style. I probably won't become good enough to be famous, but at least I provide services for people who like the way I shoot.
The only consolation I have is that, I have known my limitations all this time. I never take pre-wedding shoots because I do not have the vocabulary of locations like my uncle mentioned. And sometimes when I shoot on-locations, I do face challenges in finding the right angle for the subject. And agreeing what my uncle said, once you have an eye, any ordinary scene can be transformed into something extra-ordinary in your photo.
Ironically, while moping over my photography destiny and writing this blog, I received an email from my client moments earlier. Her first sentence on the email: "The photobook is perfect." What more can I say? You can belittle me for being lousy at my skills, but dare you criticise my clients for not knowing what they like?
More photos of our princess.
Despite all the skills you have, you are only as good as what others think of you.
His important tip is that the background setting MUST complement the subjects.He went on talking about the importance of finding the right location for pre-wedding shoots, and how one should have backup locations in the event of foul weather. One has to have a vocabulary of locations for different scenes, from high-noon hard-light to cloudy soft-light to evening twilight.
(I wonder is that the reason why all the wedding locations are similar?)
He did stress that one should find his own style that will make people want your services. As he said that, I immediately think of some of the popular wedding photographers of my age. He told me to seek references from bridal studios to learn from their styles.
After this talk, I began to understand why photography can be an academic subject.
I guess I must have missed out so many of these important theories and concepts during my self-exploration in photography. In comparison, my music education has definitely been more structured and yet I am only where I am now.
Suddenly, I felt so humbled.
There are 3 roads I can take.
One: I mope about how ignorant I am in the area of photography, and since I don't have the time and commitment to learn more, I should quit and not disgrace the photographic community.
Two: I put in time and effort to look for apprenticeship, master the skills, develop my techniques.
Three: I continue my journey at my own pace, shoot my own style. I probably won't become good enough to be famous, but at least I provide services for people who like the way I shoot.
The only consolation I have is that, I have known my limitations all this time. I never take pre-wedding shoots because I do not have the vocabulary of locations like my uncle mentioned. And sometimes when I shoot on-locations, I do face challenges in finding the right angle for the subject. And agreeing what my uncle said, once you have an eye, any ordinary scene can be transformed into something extra-ordinary in your photo.
Ironically, while moping over my photography destiny and writing this blog, I received an email from my client moments earlier. Her first sentence on the email: "The photobook is perfect." What more can I say? You can belittle me for being lousy at my skills, but dare you criticise my clients for not knowing what they like?
More photos of our princess.
Despite all the skills you have, you are only as good as what others think of you.Tuesday, January 1, 2008
Another Brand New Year
New Year's Day is a happy occasion because we got a new 4-digit year to use for the next 366 days, until we get so sick that we look forward to using another 4-digit year.
To many people, it symbolises a brand new start on things that they can't wait to abandon or reset, for instance, a bad academic year, or a bad sales target year.
To the ethnic Chinese, 2008 has an auspicious ring to that because of the digit "8" which infers prosperity.
But then I suppose to some people, abandoning the old year isn't a good thing too. To some people, the old year is a stellar year with great achievements and accolades. All these good things will come to pass and put aside in the new calendar year. You might be the employee/student/top-scorer of the year in 2007 but that means in 2008 you would have to start all over again to earn that title. In other cases, you might not have been a good performer in 2007 and with the passing of the year, the scores are tallied and it's not up to standard. If 2007 were to go on and on, perhaps you might do better and demonstrate better results for the calendar year.
So, should it be a happy new year afterall? To me, it's just another new year. Everyone loves new things, but after first week, the hype will cease. 2008 will just be another calendar year, as always been for the past 2007 years.
To many people, it symbolises a brand new start on things that they can't wait to abandon or reset, for instance, a bad academic year, or a bad sales target year.
To the ethnic Chinese, 2008 has an auspicious ring to that because of the digit "8" which infers prosperity.
But then I suppose to some people, abandoning the old year isn't a good thing too. To some people, the old year is a stellar year with great achievements and accolades. All these good things will come to pass and put aside in the new calendar year. You might be the employee/student/top-scorer of the year in 2007 but that means in 2008 you would have to start all over again to earn that title. In other cases, you might not have been a good performer in 2007 and with the passing of the year, the scores are tallied and it's not up to standard. If 2007 were to go on and on, perhaps you might do better and demonstrate better results for the calendar year.
So, should it be a happy new year afterall? To me, it's just another new year. Everyone loves new things, but after first week, the hype will cease. 2008 will just be another calendar year, as always been for the past 2007 years.
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